Her birth and Childhood
Fifteen years before the Abyssinian attempt to invade Makkah, a baby girl was born to Khuwaylid bin Asad and his wife, Fatimah bint Za’idah. Both were members of the powerful tribe of Quraysh in Makkah. Unlike many Arab parents of their time, they welcomed the birth of their new baby girl, whom they called Khadijah. Not for one moment did it occur to them that their daughter would bring them shame or disgrace. On the contrary, they received her warmly, hoping that perhaps one some day she would become a source of happiness, pride and honour.
There is an old Arab saying that ‘knowledge in childhood is like an engraving in stone.’ The traces of childhood upbringing are permanent and lasting. Khadijah’s childhood training left marks of excellence upon her character and personality. From her mother’s warm and affectionate care, Khadijah learned how to comfort others. And from her stable and friendly surroundings, Khadijah acquired an attitude of calmness and confidence, which she displayed throughout her entire life.
As a young girl Khadijah was a shining example among her relatives and friends. Everyone admired her excellent manners, attitudes and intelligence. As she grew older, many of the Quraysh came to know of her honesty and decency. Because of these qualities she was called ‘The Pure’. Thus, it was only natural that she would be showered with offers of marriage.
Her Early Marriages
The first person to win Khadijah’s hand in marriage was Abu Halal bin Zurarah, a wealthy and successful businessman. The couple lived together for several years during which Khadijah gave birth to a son named Hind. While the boy was very young, Abu Halal died, leaving behind substantial wealth and property for his bereaved family.
After the traditional period of mourning had passed another merchant, ‘Ateeq bin ‘A’idh, offered to marry Khadijah. She agreed and was thereafter remarried. Their marriage was also a happy and fruitful one, and Khadijah gave birth to a daughter, whom, like her son, she also named Hind. Again, Khadijah was a dedicated and faithful wife. Just as in her first marriage, she gave ‘Ateeq all the mental and emotional support he needed in order to be comfortable and satisfied. Of course, there is no part of this worldly life that is permanent. The happiness of Khadijah’s second marriage ended when ‘Ateeq died. Once again she inherited a large amount of wealth, thereby making her one of the richest members of the Quraysh.
Her Participation in the Business World
Despite her renewed status as a widow, Khadijah never indulged in self-pity. It was not part of her character to despair or feel sorry for herself. Instead, she turned life’s difficulties into stepping-stones to success. Driven by will and strength of mind, Khadijah pursued a livelihood in trade and commerce. Khadijah hired some men to conduct and manage her business, and among the individuals whom Khadijah thus employed was a young servant of her's named Maysarah. He was a good businessman and extremely sincere in his word, therefore Khadijah entrusted him with the management of her commercial affairs.
In spite of Maysarah’s excellent service, there was someone else whom Khadijah wanted to employ. He was Muhammad bin ‘Abdullah. She had heard a great deal about his exceptional honesty and trustworthiness. So she sent Maysarah to offer him an assignment with one of her caravans which was about to leave for ash-Sham. And as Muhammad was approaching twenty-five he wanted to earn his own livelihood by the best means possible and readily accepted Maysarah’s offer to work for Khadijah.
The caravan which Muhammad joined was by far the most successful ever sent out by Khadijah, and her monetary gain from this trip amounted to three times her original investment.
Khadijah was not entirely surprised by this report. Like so many residents in Makkah, she had previously heard of Muhammad, whom the people called ‘al-Ameen’ (‘Trustworthy’). She had heard of his faultless manners and unblemished character. Yet, there was an aspect of Maysarah’s report which particularly stirred Khadijah’s interest. Maysarah said that wherever Muhammad went, clouds followed and shaded him. In addition, Maysarah informed her that Christian monk, Nasturah, had said that Muhammad was the expected prophet who was spoken about in the Torah and Injeel. Although Khadijah had thoroughly questioned Maysarah about Muhammad, there still remained in the back of her mind several unanswered questions.
Because of the information she received about Muhammad, Khadijah thought about the possibility of marrying him. She wanted to consult someone about this idea and find out Muhammad’s opinion about marriage. Her natural and immediate choice was a trusted friend Nafeesah. Nafeesah intended to arrange a marriage between Khadijah and Muhammad.
When the first opportunity presented itself, Nafeesah approached Muhammad. She indirectly introduced the subject by speaking to him about the merits of faith, truthfulness, wealth, beauty and good kinship. When it became clear to her that he was agreeable to the principle of marriage, Khadijah informed Muhammad of her wish to marry him. It is not known whether she told him herself or asked Nafeesa or someone else to do this for her.
Later on Muhammad informed his uncles of all that had occurred. Soon after, they accompanied him to make a formal request for her hand and to complete the marital arrangement. On this occasion it is not certain which uncles accompanied Muhammad. Some say that it was Hamzah bin ‘Abdul-Muttalib, some that it was Abu Talib, and others that both uncles were present The wedding, which took place about two months after Muhammad returned from ash-Sham, was attended by many notables from Banu Hashim and Banu Mudhar. Khadijah’s father, Khuwaylid, had passed away; therefore, she was married by her uncle, ‘Amr bin Asad.
At home with Khadijah
Generally speaking, it is not common that a young man of twenty-five would agree to marry a woman of forty years. One may wonder why Muhammad did so; yet, it must be understood that his whole life was directed by Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala). Although Khadijah possessed the qualities most men would seek in a wife (such as beauty, intelligence, good morals, manners, etc.), her marriage to Muhammad was truly a manifestation of Allah’s wisdom.
Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) had decreed that Muhammad (sallalahu alaihiwasalam) would be the last prophet. Through him Allah would deliver His final revelation to mankind – the Qur’an. This task was laden with difficulties and dangers. Some of Muhammad’s family and most of society would initially reject him, and some would even physically abuse him. He would see his brothers and sisters in Islam starved, tortured and killed. Most of them would have to flee their homeland.
But Allah, in His wisdom, gave Muhammad a reliable companion in his wife, Khadijah. She assisted him through all of the initial problems he would face as the last prophet. Possessing tender emotions, wisdom, and the necessary understanding to encourage him to persevere, she also held a high enough social position to discourage the viciousness of other tribes.
Throughout his childhood and adolescent years, Muhammad lived as an orphan. Yet now in early manhood, a new chapter of his life was about to begin in Khadijah’s company. In the calm atmosphere of their home Muhammad enjoyed many aspects of Khadijah’s exceptional personality. As weeks rolled into months and months into years, she effortlessly showed her ability to act as a wife, sister and mother.
Khadijah and Muhammad had four daughters and two sons. The eldest of the girls was Zaynab, followed by Ruqayyah, Umm Kulthum and Fatimah.
The first boy, who was named al-Qasim, died while he was still an infant. Some time after his death, Khadijah gave birth to another son called ‘Abdullah. Because he was born after his father’s prophethood had begun, ‘Abdullah was referred to as ‘at-Tayyib’ (‘The Good’) and ‘at-Tahir (‘The Pure’). He, too, died in early childhood.
Besides their own children, there were two other boys who had the privilege to be raised under the care of Khadijah and Muhammad. They were ‘Ali bin Abi Talib and Zayd bin Haruthah, who were to be among the first Muslims.
Muhammad could not forget how he had been cared for by his uncle, Abu Talib, who raised him after the death of his grandfather, ‘Abdul-Muttalib. He willingly and gratefully agreed to care for his cousin ‘Ali in order to assist Abu Talib, who was having a difficult time providing for his many children. Hamzah bin ‘Abdul-Muttalib also took one of Abu Talib’s sons, Ja’far. In this way, financial problems were lessened for his aging uncle.
The other boy who was cared for in their household was Zayd, a former slave whom Khadijah had given to Muhammad before his prophethood. As a young child Zayd had been separated from his real parents. One day when he was only eight years old, his mother Sa’di bint Tha’labah, took him to visit some of her relatives. During this journey they were attacked by horsemen from Bany al-Qayn. Zayd was captured and later sold to Khadijah. The news of Zayd’s fate was a great source of grief for his father, Harithah bin Sharahil. Indeed, he spared no effort to find his son’s whereabouts. Upon learning that Muhammad and Khadijah were in possession of Zayd, he travelled hundreds of miles to claim his son.
Muhammad had become deeply attached to Zayd, especially after the death of his own son, al-Qasim. When Harithah, accompanied by his brother Ka’b, finally arrived in Makkah and approached him, Muhammad did not readily hand the boy over. The meeting was an emotional one since both Harithah pleaded, ‘O son of ‘Abdul-Muttalib, O son of the mentor of his people. You live in the neighbourhood of Allah’s house, you relieve the distressed, and you feed the hungry. I have come to you for our son, your servant. We implore that you show kindness to us by releasing him.’ Muhammad replied, ‘I will call him and give him a choice. If he chooses you, so be it; but if he chooses me, I swear by Allah, I am not one to make a choice against someone who has chosen me.’
When Zayd arrived, Muhammad questioned him, ‘Do you know these two men?’ Zayd answered, ‘this is my father, Harithah bin Sharahil, and this is my uncle, Ka’b bin Sharahil.’ Muhammad again addressed him, ‘The choice in yours, If you wish, you may go with them; if not, you may stay with me.’ Zayd immediately replied, ‘I will remain with you.’ Harithah, shocked, tried to persuade his son, saying, ‘O Zayd, do you prefer servitude over your father, mother and people?’ Zayd replied, ‘There is something I have seen in this man which would never allow me to leave him.’ Muhammad then took Zayd and proclaimed before a gathering of the Quraysh, ‘I bear witness that this is my son [who is] to inherit whatever is handed down from me.’ By doing so, Muhammad dispelled whatever lingering doubts and fears Harithah may have had about his son’s well-being. Soon after, Harithah left Makkah pleased and satisfied with his son’s status. From that day on Zayd because known as ‘Zayd bin Muhammad.’ He remained thus until the fifth years of hijrah when Allah revealed:
‘Call them by [the names of] their fathers. That is more just in the sight of Allah. But if you do not know their fathers’ [names, call them] your brothers in faith or your freed slaves.’ Surah al-Ahzab
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